Tears of...

Pain
Shame
Empathy
Today was possibly one of the worst days Ive had.
I got a call from daycare that Chasen's rash had gotten worse and that he was really fussy. I decided to take him back to the DR because I noticed last night at 2am that hte rash was worse and he was obviously cranky.

So the DR still thinks its a random virus leaving the body via this rash,
but he also thought it could me MEASLES and sent us to the hospital for a blood test.
We walked into the hospital and it brought back all the memories of having Chasen :)and I though to myself I want to have another one!! (that idea changed the moment they started to poke my baby)

Now is when the crying comes in
We get there and the lady puts the band around his arm and says okay mom time to hold him...
what the F' I have to hold him down??
okay.
So i hold him while he screams and she pokes that arm 2 times it doesn't work so she moves on to the next arm, pokes twice.
all the while he is screaming and I am fighting back my own tears of pain,
there is nothing more painful then watching your child be hurt and having to hold him down. It was traumatic.
Then she goes to get another guy, so im thinking okay he must be a pediatric phlebotomist or something, so he comes in, she holds chasen and he pokes him AGAIN in each arm a few times. ( i almost puked) then he says okay we will just have to do a heel stick and im thinking to myself why didnt we just start with this.
Well,
this was worse.
they pricked him and then proceeded to squeeze his foot for 5 minutes filling one vial and the guy gets out the 2nd one and I said, how many of these do you need because I dont think we can do much more. He said, well let me spin this and see if I have enough it will take 5min.
ok.
Thats when I feel like crying tears of shame, because I should have spoke up and said absolutely not, you will not poke my child any more you get a person specialized in babies down here now (which i should have said to begin with)or we are leaving.
( I did change Chasen's diaper on the table there and told him "okay buddy now is your chance ot pee on him" and the guy looked at me funny and kinda laughed.)

so we wait.

He comes and tells me they dont have enough, but that they brought the good guys down to come do it
WHY THE HELL DIDNT YOU START WITH THEM.
so they get him all ready again hold him down (at this point my head is spinning and I want to punch them all in the face) she pokes him twice and just as I say OKAY...(enough) the dark red blood starts to flow.

I held back my own tears until we were walking through the ER at which point they started to flow, just as we walked by a 7 year old with a broken foot and I though to myself,
oh my god, I will be here again some day....




Chasen seems to be doing good, we got home and I was the mess, he was playing happily on the floor crawling around. the rash doesn't itch, but I'm still giving him allergy meds in case it does and he has no fever, no sores in his mouth, no cough, but i did give him Tylenol for the pain from all the poking.
since he doesn't have a fever I really doubt its measles but we will find out on monday.

Smelly Dog, Smelly Dog,

What are they feeding you....
poor Kevin is still outside and everyone misses him, Chasen saw him today and went nuts, wanting to get down and play with him.
We did decide to let him sleep in the dining room tonight :(

Today I took Chasen to the dr. exactly one week before his well baby check up because his entire body was covered in a weird rash.(He ALWAYS gets sick 1 week before his well baby check, and then I have to pay to take him twice)
Since the ear infection he has had a bad rash in his groin area that hasn't gotten any better. Today they found that he has a fungal infection down there and the other rash was related to the virus he had before and it should clear up in a week. His ears were clear and throat was good! I tried to get a pic of the rash but you can't really see it as well as you can in person.

"such attitude"

Chasen has changed so much this month.
Today, his second tooth came through,
He can walk while holding onto stuff(which gives me a mini heart attack each time)and daycare said he took one step alone today.

I predict we are walking by 11 months for sure...God help me!!!!!!

nothing is safe now!!! what will I do when he walks?!?!
Today he started something new, we were on the porch swing and I was holding him in my lap and he wanted down so he could crawl around but I wouldn't let go so he grabbed my hands to tare them off of him. So, I would move them, then put them back, and he would try to take them off again. It amazed me that he was smart enough to realize that I was the thing causing him to not go anywhere(before he would have just cried and squirmed) But it also broke my heart, this will just be the first of many times that he pushes his mama away :(
There are times when I want him to push me away, like at bed time.
He has been getting up at night and I have been starting the bad habit of putting him in bed with us because its so much easier.
Well, now he is used to it and likes it.
I read today that babies at this age start waking up in the middle of the night due to separation anxiety and that it is good for them to have a blankey or stuffed animal to comfort them so tonight when I rocked him to sleep we held onto a little doggy.
well, Im off to bed to.
If only I could snuggle with my doggy :( poor Kev.

My Life...

The Three Ring CIRCUS

Chasen and I were sleeping on the porch swing when I heard Kevin yelp, then I smelled the worst smell ever...a Skunk.

So its 10:00 at night and we have a dog to clean up.

Kevin HATES getting a bath or water on him or anything like that.
So cleaning him up was no simple task

and now the poor thing has to sleep outside
tonight we tried tomato juice
tomorrow we will try peroxide and baking soda

But I have no idea how to get the smell out of my house.

I may get sent home from work tomorrow because I smell so bad.

Now I must try to go to bed with a burning nose and burning eyes and a severe headache.
At least it doesn't really smell upstairs.


and for some reason mom and jackson are always here for the crazy three ring circus....like the running of the "mini" bulls last year.
I'd take that over skunk smell any day.

Weekend Report...

Ean and I ran the BIX 7 this weekend. It was my first time and Ean's 3rd.
We had a ton of fun, we ran it with some of my co-workers



There were 16,000 people in the race and allot of it was up hill. I ran it in an hour and thirteen minutes! I was pretty excited that I kept my 10min mile pace considering i NEVER run hills. The first mile of the race is a little slower because there are so many people running it that you start and stop allot, my first mile actually took me 11min because so many peole were in the way!!!
I can't wait to do it again next year! Next year Ill do the quick bix so I can get to the beer tent before all the beer runs out ;) (just kidding)good idea though!
They did run out of beer around 11 and we (once again) closed down the after party, we left just as they were getting the last keg out for the volunteers!
I surprisingly felt good on sunday and mowed the lawn. Im sore but nothing like after the half marathon.

Ean put together my mothers day gift finally

it folds out into a bed to!
CHASEN NEWS:
He walked today!!!!
not on his own but he pushed around the walker toy and he also pushed around the foot stool.
I was so shocked that I didnt grab the camera, but I promise to get a video soon.
Im hoping it was just a fluke, I really dont need my (almost) 9 month old running around the house.
He is working on tooth #2. and boy is it giving him some issues, he is chewing allot and in church he figured out how to lick his hand and he just kept doing it and the girls behind us kept laughing at him. He has also found his nose, which means he sticks his fingers in his nose. Including his thumb, which looks pretty ridiculous.






(I think the picture of him with the remote looks like one of Ean's baby pics!)

My mom has been down since friday with my brother Jackson and they will leave Wed. morning. They start school the second week of August so they had to get one last long visit in before they get busy with all of Jackson's activities. He will start his freshman year of high school this year.
and my baby will be 9 months on the 4th.
I packed away all of his baby things today, it was kinda sad.

my how time flies......


also, while my mom was here we took a family photo

Back to Reality

but first i will post about vacation!


WARNING: This will be a long post so pull up a chair get your coffee ready or if its the evening your beverage of choice (wine) and enjoy!

Ean and I packed up the car and headed to Colorado on Friday evening after work stopping in Omaha to sleep a few hours and drop off baby and dog with grandma.
We arrived in Colorado Springs, Colorado on Saturday around 1pm mountain time and met up with Ean's aunt and uncle, we toured the garden of the gods, pikes peak, downtown old Colorado had a beer and some chocolate and went back to their house (where we stayed)and watched the sun set over pikes peak as we ate fondue on the porch.
It was perfect!
Woke up Sunday morning had coffee and a bloody mary and headed on our way to the Mile High Music Festival in Commerce City, Colorado about 20 min north of Denver
we got there at 11am and saw, what is now one of my favorite bands
HoneyHoney
its just two people she plays the banjo, violin and has an amazing voice. And he played 3 different guitar's, base drum, and keyboard. They were very talented.
We saw gogol bordella which is a gypsy punk band/circus, it was the craziest thing I have ever seen. I wouldnt listen to their songs much, but they put on an amazing show. It was basically like a circus up there, they had every instrument you could imagine, trash can, a whistle, accordion, violin a Jewish singer.... I felt like I was at a really messed up jewish wedding. You should really google gogol bordella or myspace them, crazy people they are!
Coincidentally my aunt is at their show in omaha right now!
We also saw 3oh!3 which wasnt popular when they booked the venue and right now they have the #1 song on top 40 so they were in a smaller tent which was super crowded, but we got there just in time to only be a few rows back, yet I still couldn't see Ean kept saying "man I wish you could see this"
sometimes I was just to short to see what was going on lol.
Next time I'm wearing platform sandals and bringing a flask of vodka, Beer was $8 a glass, EVERYTHING was $8 or more, you spend allot of money when your there from 11 to 11 but we had a blast!
We saw Matt Kearney (love him), Guster, Jet,
Buddy Guy and someone from Iowa set up their iowa flag,
so we made some friends!
we got to see Pepper a sublime type band from Hawaii and while they played it rained, but it was really good and Eans favorite band
then we saw The Fray which was AMAZING and I wish I could see them in concert again.
Then Wide Spread Panic closed the show, but we only stayed for one song and went to find our car which was parked in a field with no markers so we wandered aimlessly for about an hour (i think) till we found the car got back to our hotel room but we didn't wake up till 9am.
It was nice to be Abby and Ean again for a few days, we weren't parents or worried about the pile of dishes, annoying phone calls from lowes or customers, no laundry or dog whining to go potty, no bills to worry about and the music was so loud I couldn't even be bothered by my own thoughts!! lol

So back to Reality(atleast reality is cute and sassy), which unfortunately meant a sick baby Chasey.
He had a runny nose when we left him with my mom but it was clear and I just though it was allergies, sat. he had green snot, sun night he had a fever of 102 so ean and I spent the entire 7 hours in the car from CO to NE worried, my mom called and Chasen was crying and Kevin was howling. (funny now!) my aunt works at a pediatric clinic and got Chasen and apt. at 6:30 we rolled into the parking lot at 6:10 my mom shortly after with baby.
He was diagnosed with a Left middle ear infection and possible hand foot and mouth, he has sores on the back of his throat.
He weight 23lbs...whoa!
We got and antibiotic and headed on our way to Iowa, it took for EVER and he cried almost the whole last hour and a half. SUCKY.
I stayed home with him today and he only ate 3 bottles and half a jar of food, his throat must really hurt. He also has really bad diaper rash so he hung out naked most of today!
He was in good spirits most of the day though and Im hoping he sleeps through the night because Ean is gone in Illinois, he has to take a roofing test at 8am so he went down there tonight. (sigh)
hope your drink was good! and thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday ..

Grandma Bud!!

* dont forget about the early star(wars, trek?) card I gave you;) *
We LOVE YOU!!! enjoy your 45th Birthday!

A little busy

We have been and will continue to be super busy these next few weeks so posting will be slow!
This past weekend Chasen and I went to nebraska to visit great great grandma and the rest of my family too!
Ean had to work so my mom met Chasen and I in des moines and rode with us so I didnt have to drive alone with the wild one.
I got to see Jackson play in a baseball tournament, he has turned into such a good little ball player!

so serious, must have been a good game

he loves his nephew

We saw great great grandma,


she is doing really well and we went back on Sunday and brought her a shake! and Chasen kept getting mad because he wanted to drink out of her straw.
It was just a short weekend but we got to see lots of family

great granny

papa

grandma aunt lissy and great grandma Jan

great grandpa and cousin Lily

and I got to go to the county fair beer garden with my mom and aunt!!


This weekend Ean and I are driving to colorado to go to the mile high music festival.
my mom will be watching Chasen again. THANK YOU!!
well, I hope you enjoyed all the pictures

Such a Turd

Chasen is such a turd, he only throws fits in the morning when I'm trying to get ready for work.
And by fits I mean sitting on the floor screaming till his face is bright read and veins are popping out and as soon as I pick him up, {SMILES}
So this morning I let the screaming go on for about 10 minutes, you would think he would stop at some point. But he doesn't, only if I hold him.
I think he does this because he knows that its only a matter of time before I leave him at daycare and I think he is anxious about it all though he doesn't cry when I leave him at daycare....
I dunno, its a mystery to me and a phase I wish would pass soon!

Chasen is also on the move, he really has this crawling thing down and seems to be getting bored with is because he is trying to use anything he can to stand up, including kids at daycare.
he will put both hands on a toy get on all fours then lift one hand off the toy, but doesn't quite have the balance to stand all the way.
The daycare ladies call this his break dancing move!
Now, if the object he is trying to pull himself up on is the right height he can stand, like, for instance his crib railing and once he pulls himself up he bounces.

He is also able to navigate uneven terrain with out falling as you can see here

His aunt Trista walked at 8 months, I hope that he is a late and timid walker like his daddy was.

A weekend of Firsts

We had a great 4th of July!
It all started Saturday morning with an 8k
in the rain and horrible knee pain, but Pep and I finished and we only stopped once to stretch! We finished in 51 minutes. My back didnt hurt but my left knee killed I couldn't really straighten it afterwards. Ean ran a good time, but didnt place. There were around 2,000 people in the race.
Afterwards

Chasen ate his 1st piece of watermelon and we went to the beer and tent and won that race by being the last ones to leave, had to get our $30 {entry fee} worth!
Then we came home and packed quick for the lake.
during all the packing and running around I lost my cell phone and still haven't found it :( :( :(






Saturday was cold and rainy so we didnt do much in the water.
Chasen did get to go for his first boat ride
(as i held onto him for dear life, he waved his hands and loved it, Im sure it wont be the last time I try to protect him as he looks on fearlessly)
while Ean and his cousin Aundi battled it out on the tubes
Chasen touched his first fish

and saw and fell asleep while watching his first fire works.
The kids were lighting off loud fireworks and chasen would jump, then laugh.
I think Ill have a pyro on my hands in the future.

Sunday was much nicer and we got to do some swimming

and sleeping...."this is the life"


I of course have TONS more photos and will upload them to smug mug at some point, ill put a link on here when I do.

all in all it was a great weekend (thanks Dave and Sue!!) and I am still recovering.


so i probably shouldn't share this because I may regret it later but, tonight I saw a commercial about a mom dropping her son off at college and I got a little misty :( I even get misty typing it.)
Just goes to show that those pregnancy hormones never really go away, maybe its not hormones but the fact that some little booger has changed and touched my heart in a way I never could have imagined, i just wish he would sleep in till 7am ;)

Early Morning Photo Shoot!

HAVE A HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!!!