today i took the boys to the gym for play time. there are always a lot of kids and basketballs.
now, if you know chasen you know he loves sports and to be physical, ALWAYS has.
when he was dashtyns age at daycare he was wrestling with a 6 year old boy everyday and loved it. he would try it with kids his own age and most of them would cry and he didnt understand why.
he's not mean just doesnt understand boundaries....as most kids dont.
SOOOOO
today he picks up the basketball and there are 2 friends from preschool there a boy and a girl.
they are dribbling the ball around and chasen is the only one who can dribble and put his other hand up to block the defender (which makes me smile and proud) he also understands the game so when the other 2 kids try to dribble he steals it from them.
now the boy, he gets playfully mad and wrestles chasen to the ground to get it back. the girl kinda walks away...and will try to wrestle it away sometimes.
which I dont care about because thats what chasen needs, good clean rough and tough play!!
but most of the time chasen is "winning" and getting the ball back.....which, duh, is the point of the game.
but what chasen doesn't understand is that he is not sharing. and the other kids dont get the point of the game.
now at the time im constantly going up to him: share or we are leaving....SHARE, stop, dont, give it to him/her. STOP!!!
he ends up hurting one of his friends (not on purpose) he went in to 'steal' the ball away and hit her in the face.... it was bound to happen.
I made him say he was sorry and made him go play with something else....
I feel bad for him because I know he just wants to play basketball....I offer to play bounce pass or dribble with him....but of course he turns his nose up at mom and says no!! :)
{meanwhile dash as fallen and hit is eye on a metal chair}
so chasen gets in the jumpy house....it's all boys at this point and they are jumping and wrestling each other ..again I dont care if chasne gets hurt but I DO NOT want him to hurt someone else....
so I say....just jump, dont hold him....get off..... then a different girl from his preschool gets in and a kid tackles chasen and he falls into the girls face and hurts her lip!
arrrrrg seriously!!!!
{meanwhile Im holding dash because I dont want him in there getting hurt and he is yelling and cheering like he is at a UFC fighting match}
Chasen looks at me like what is wrong with this place...I can tell he is embarrassed and scared that he is in trouble....
we try to play with something else but chasen isn't interested
{meanwhile dash is dunking balls in the baby hoop and throwing balls at kids his age and knocking them down}
Im embarrassed and mad so we leave kicking and screaming.... I yelled at him in the car that he needs to be nice to his friends and share.....
we eat lunch he goes to bed and I start reading a book called
That's my son. by Rick johnson
and I realize that my kid is perfectly normal
Boys need to act this way.....it's an actual NEED.
so my kid is just advanced in his bball skillz and has watched a bunch of basketball this season!
yes, he needs discipline but he also needs the freedom to act like a boy.
girls need the freedom to be rowdy too, Im no calm girly girl myself, but boys need it differently.
Boys also need rules and structure which is why they like sports, which is why I shouldn't have gotten mad at chasen for being aggressive and going after the ball.... after all he was just following the rules of the game... he may have fouled out I guess.
we did (after nap) have a discussion about how our friends dont knwo how to play bball and next time we just need to play catch.
I just feel like people thought my kid was out of control, when in reality he was just being a kid-boy.
So i gonna start letting the boys wrestle each other...chasen is always wrestling dash and they both seem to love it and I'm always "no, stop, dont, get off, ......."
but im gonna let it happen.
I mean today was dashtyns first bump and he is 13 months!!!! thats crazy to me. and he didnt get if from his brother...he got it because his balance is bad and the chair was hard!
Chasen has been mad a dash before but never taken it out on him physically.
{meanwhile..........
