where nothing goes as expected but you still need to keep a positive attitude that everything will go better than you expected.
and thats why I married Ean, he's always positive and I'm usually freaking out second guessing myself!
The thing I hate most about being a grown up is making decisions and having only myself to blame. who doesn't hate that?
I had a mini freak out about this new job and the choice that I had made.
"what if I just made the worst decision of my life?!" ahhhh freak out!!!
but after Ean talked me down, Im feeling much better.
I think I was/am just freaking out because I quit my job to be home with chasen not to work 3rd shift, and so far I haven't gotten to be home with Chasne because he has to finish out his week at daycare.
I worked my first shift on tuesday night and it was okay.
there is alot to learn in the 5 days that I get to train.
Wed. night was absolutely awful and I cried the entire way home on Thursday morning and then passed out for about 5 hours and then Ean came home and we hung out for a few hours before picking chasen up from daycare.
The reason it was so awful was because allot of incident reports happened (meaning someone fell or had a sink tare or something of that nature) and 2 people were admitted to the hosp and there were like 10 hot charts, which means that you have to chart and do several assessments on those people.
It was so awful that the 2nd shift nurse didn't give us report and she ended up having to stay at work until 3am finishing her paper work.
I was freaking out (in my head because Im thinking what will I do in a few short days when Im by myself and this happens)
and I didn't really get to train because there was so much going on me and the nurse training me were basically trying to keep our heads above water so that we didn't have to work 10hrs.
well then at like 4am a police officer came in (set off all the alarms) and wanted to talk to one of our CNA's turns out there was an accident on the train tracks in Mechanicsville and someone in her family died. (maybe you heard about it on the news I don't feel comfortable sharing all the details on here.) we heard the 'boom' and saw police cars at around 3am but didn't really think anything of it.
So after that it was pretty much hell.
Everyone was shook up and rightfully so, these girls have worked together for several years.
So when I was driving home and had to pass the wreckage was when I lost it.
Upset about the accident, and completely overwhelmed with the work situation and thinking that Im never going to get the hang of it.
Despite feeling awful I went back to work on Thursday night and the nurse training me apologized for the night before and assured me this was not the norm. She actually said it is in the top 5 worst nights ever for her and she has worked in the ICU. She said I shouldn't have a night like that for at least 5 years :)
and she thanked me for coming back and not running away screaming, because she said that's probably what she would have done if her 2nd night working went like that.
So, my 3rd night was more normal until we had an incident resulting in sending someone to the hosp. (again) and had to do lots of paper work to cover our asses.
we didnt do anything wrong, but you've go to prove that with lots of writing so we didn't get off work until about 7:15am and we still didn't get to some of the duties that we as 3rd shifters are supposed to do like filling and such. I only have 2 days left to train so I hope we get to it at some point.
Atleast I know how to send someone to the hosp. which is something I have never done before.
There is ALOT I haven't done so I guess thats what im most nervous about.
I do like it and Im enjoying the challenge and all of the experiences and knowledge Im gaining. I just hope that I dont screw up big time when Im on my own.
The sleeping situation is going good! I get home at 7ish get chasen dressed and breakfast Ean takes him to school and I go to bed for about 4hrs, waking up at noon to eat breakfast, then I clean a little bit and then take a 2 to 3hr nap before picking up chasen at 5:30 then I make us dinner (my lunch) tuck chasen into bed hang out with ean and leave my house at 9:45pm.
I was so exhauseted yesterday morning after work that I went to bed at 8am and woke up at 3pm I was scared I wouldnt be able to fall asleep then lastnight but I did at about midnight and woke up at 8am today and feel normal!
My mom is here this weekend and I dont go back to work until Tues. so monday and Tue will be Chasen and mines first days at home:)
I added a few things to my right side bar.
A kick ass song I like listening to called Pumped up Kicks!
chasen loves it to and has been dancing around listening to it on repeat for about 6 times in a row now!
"mama look at my feet" as he marches and sings into his flashlight
after the 6th or 7th time he said
"mommy lets go da bed"
some books Im reading
black heels to tractor wheels is a real life love story by a lady whose blog I read.
Fantastic Vocation is by the pastor who married Ean and I. Did you know that Ean and I were married by a Pastor who preforms exorcisms? explains alto doesn't it?!
and the other 2 are fertility books. The one called conception chronicles is pretty funny and real the other one more serious and helpful!
Ill be posting next about Toddler Bowling and our newest addition to the caskey minis!!!
Chasen really likes to pick up sticks and will ask "mama can we go outside and play sticks?"
see I told you he was full of snot. Can you see it?!
we painted with this cool gel paint. Its a clear gel that turns colors when you use it on the paper provided! Pretty sweet and it doesnt stain clothes or anyother surface:)
and stuff them with carrots and ricotta cheese
Sunday came way to quick and it was time for everyone to go home. Me back to iowa and Kirsten to New York.
1st birthday party!!
He preferred to lick all of the frosting off of it before eating it and then proceeded to eat half of Ean's cupcake too!
while he 'draws' Ill write number and letters and ask him to count the shapes with me. I tried to get him to let me help him draw a circle ( I read somewhere that he should be able to do that) but he does NOT want my help with anything!!
Well we were going to pathways after lunch and I didnt want to have to change his shirt so I put one on him and sat down next to him to eat and he very matter-of-factly asked me
He just kept on eating. and after a couple of bites he looked over at me and said
We went bolwing Friday night with Shaun and Jess, their 2 girls and Brad!
